Write about the power you felt when you told someone no.
"Vanessa, do you actually want to keep doing this? Do you still want to be here?"
Last summer, I quit my job at OUAC, Inc after almost a year of being there. I was fed up, I was exhausted, I was beaten down and I had no idea what my next move was going to be. I wanted to get back to basics and figure out what I actually wanted to do. What was my next step going to be?
As I was figuring this out, I was still applying for jobs; some full-time, some part-time. It was super unfocused because I didn't really know what I was looking for. All I knew was that I wanted to find a job that I loved to do, a company that would treat me with respect and a work-life balance and some flexibility with my schedule, etc. A lot to ask for and most people barely get just one of those options.
I interviewed with a few companies during this brief bout of unemployment and two of them offered me jobs. They were great jobs on paper, they aligned with my skill set. But I turned them both down.
The first time I said "no," I felt uneasy. I thought to myself, "What if this is the best I can do? What if I don't find anything and I turn this down and nothing happens and I'll regret this?" I suffer from Imposter Syndrome. I spiraled a bit but with a supportive husband and friends I kept my shit together and kept it moving.
The second time I said "no," I cried a lot before I made the decision to turn this other job down. This was about two months after I turned down the first job. In those two months, I started freelancing with a few brands and had just picked up a new client. I was enjoying working for myself. It was a weird change to go from working for The Man™️ to working for myself but it turns out I'm a pretty good boss!
The reason I cried before I said "no" wasn't because I was upset. It was just a HARD decision to turn down a full-time paying job with benefits and security because I wanted to pursue my current path. I cried because this was a HUGE step for me. I have never not worked for someone else. Ever. But I wanted to see where this new path would take me.
Saying "no" is a lot harder to voice out loud than one would think. But that feeling of relief, of power, of joy from saying "no" is extremely healthy and one of the best things I could've done for myself.
Saying "no" can sometimes mean not settling for what you think you're supposed to do and instead do what you're meant to do.
I'm currently thriving and freelancing for about 8 brands at the moment and I plan to pick up more. I have set goals for this because I truly do believe this is the path I'm meant to be on.