It cannot be overstated enough: my mom’s family is really one of the best families in the world. They will fly to help each other in crisis, give each other the clothes off their backs, support each other financially, feed each other, just going above and beyond what most families do. At least, most American families anyway.

I specify that last point because my mother’s family is from Puerto Rico. Which, while a colony of the United States of America, is not an “American” culture. And for that, I am so grateful and thankful for. Fuck all that nuclear family, keeping secrets, and letting things fester until they kill you bullshit. My mom’s family refuses to let people fall by the wayside, they will always step in and help.

I am my father’s daughter, more than I care to admit, and have become so hyper independent and self-sufficient that I forgot what its like to let myself be taken care of by my family. And man, do they take care of you!

Recently traveled to Puerto Rico (and then on to Florida) for my husband and I’s 10 year anniversary (can you believe we’re in the damn double digits?!) with our daughter. And we were surrounded by so much love and kindness, it was a bit overwhelming. I came to a realization this is why I value community building so much, why I see friends as family, because that’s how my mama’s family rolls.

The second my mom’s cousin heard we were planning to stay in a hotel in San Juan, she immediately offered her house for us to stay. I was emotional when my mom first told me about her offer, because honestly, I never expect much from anyone. (Is this a negative frame of mind? Maybe.)

I haven’t been to Puerto Rico since I was 17, so being back here with my made family and my mother to share it with was all kinds of special. We went to Old San Juan (including El Morro), Cataño, Bayamón, Guaynabo, all the way up to Cerro Las Tetas, and into Guavate in Cayey. All of it was magical. The food wasn’t even the best part, which is shocking, but to me, the music and the dancing was everything.

It feels like there’s a rhythm pulsing through Puerto Rico and every resident knows it, feels it, and moves to that beat in their own way. No matter where you look someone is dancing and singing, encouraging someone else to join in, sometimes with a plate of food or a drink in their hand. Magical place, I tell you!

Another thing I noticed was how many Afro-Puerto Ricans were around. Boricuas who are pushed into fame tend to look like Jennifer Lopez or Ricky Martin, the lighter ones. It was a refreshing reminder that Puerto Rico is home to Black people too.

Being able to experience everything with my daughter and especially seeing my mom share it with her granddaughter is a privilege I know a lot of people don’t get to have. One thing I will say is this whole experience has motivated me to get more confident in speaking Spanish, so I can keep sharing that with my kid.