I feel, sometimes,
very occasionally,
insane for feeling happy about my life
when things are going wild in my country.

I feel almost guilty? I guess. Like I’m not supposed to be happy and content, while people are being laid off in droves, unable to find employment, can’t feed themselves or their families, losing their homes in fires, ending up in prison for homelessness, you get the point.

My therapist has said I have “people pleaser” tendencies and tend to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. That is never more apparent than when something shitty is happening on a macro level. That can be an unnecessary war, or a pandemic or oligarchs taking over the government.

Doesn’t matter. We’re always going through something. It doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to feel enjoyment in my own personal life. It’s a weird feeling though.