Day 126: Alone

Do you like to be alone or do you like having company?

This is an interesting question, no? I would say the majority of people need a balance of both. 

But you're asking ME and to that I say....I don't know. I'm an ambivert, a control freak, a social (-ly anxious) butterfly, that can sometimes withdraw into myself when I'm in an uncomfortable situation.

I generally love being surrounded my a large group of my friends, people I'm close to and can have dumb, smart, silly, deep conversations with. Once a stranger steps into that group, it causes a disruption for me. And now, since I've left my nest, I've realized I've gotten very complacent.

Complacent in stepping out of my comfort zone, complacent in meeting new people without a buffer, complacent in trying new things, complacent in exploring new areas, etc.

You might say, "But wait...isn't moving to Vegas the complete opposite of being complacent?"

You'd be correct. But I didn't realize just how complacent I had gotten until we came here and suddenly I was without my safety net of friends, family and familiar places. 

I'll admit the first couple weeks have been rough for me. My husband hit the ground running, volunteering for the Nevada Democratic Party almost every single day. I couldn't be more proud of him but I began to feel isolated. It's a feeling I haven't experienced in a very long time, not since my then-boyfriend, now-husband worked for ESPN for 6 months in Connecticut. 

Because I can be a dick, I took it out on him. I apologized for it and now I'm working on getting myself back on track. Getting this new job has already helped tremendously and  I've just joined Bumble BFF! Lol yes. I will be doing an entire separate blog post about that experiment. 

Anyways, I guess the short answer is: I like being alone sometimes, when I'm working out or running, when I'm binge watching something or reading or when I'm relaxing before bedtime. But for the most part? I need human interaction and not just on the internet. I like hearing people laugh and talk about whatever's on their mind, I like that comforting feeling of belonging somewhere. I lost a huge part of that when I left Ohio but never fear...

Vanessa always bounces back!